Anakin: Rex, can you keep a secret?

Rex: *opens his mouth to answer, looking uncertain*

Anakin: *cuts him off* great. Look, here’s the thing, I kinda fell in love with Padmé. Yeah, that Padmé, the Nabooan senator. So, kinda crazy, huh?

Rex: *wide eyed in shock* s-sir, that’s-

Anakin: *cutting him off again* anyway so we got married in secret. No one knows of it, not even obi-wan. Which is why you can’t tell anyone about it, obviously. So you see, I need to check in on her sometimes, make a holocall, and I need you to stand guard so that obi-wan won’t catch me talking to her, get it?

Rex: *stammering* well, I-I suppose I-

Anakin: and I absolutely HAVE to check in on her on occasion because, well you see, one thing led to another and she’s actually pregnant and I’m the father

Rex: *unintelligible high-pitched whimper* sIR?

Anakin: *sighing deeply and patting Rex’s shoulders* glad to know I can count on you, Rex

Rex: I didn’t- I don’t think- I-

Anakin: *leaves* talk to you later :)

Rex:

Rex:

Rex: *shoves his helmet over his head*

Rex: *SCREAMS*